What CLASSICAL music do you hate most?

[Despina41]

This is inspired by the "what music do you hate most" thread. By "music" in that title, I mistakenly assumed you meant classical, so my reaction to the responses there (aside from the cringing) was "but this is too easy!"

If we limit the parameters to "western art music," (music itself moreso than awful performances of great works, because that deserves its own thread) suddenly the game becomes much more interesting AND dangerous. There will be toes stepped upon if we venture further. Most likely blood will be shed on the altar of subjectivity. The use of passive voice will be necessitated... Let's go!



So for starters, and don't crush me with your shields all at once, I offer some music that I find particularly obnoxious:

-mid-18th century gallant "symphonies:" those Stamitz creations, ie. It's amazing I listen to any classical radio stations at all these days.
-most Puccini. The Tosca chords are great - the filler material, not so much.
-Brahms's Rinaldo. (Thank God he never wrote an opera)
-bland, quasi-tonal 20th century music. 025 is a bad class pitch class set for me.
-early Beethoven... Yeah, I know. And some Haydn as well. His sense of humor and mine are not in touch.
-the beginnings of opera, although 3 hours of recitative is not a good idea no matter when it's being written. Unless it's by Mussorgsky.
-music by Sofia Gubaidulina that involves bayan.
-French romanticism as expressed by Duparc... D'Indy...Massenet.
-pretty much anything by Copland and Ives. Apparently I'm not American after all.

I could go on, but I'd rather you share your prejudices too! Don't be shy.

[Philidor]

I don't hate any classical music. That sounds irritatingly hippyish - "everyone's got some good in them man!" - with a whiff of cowardice, as if I'm scared to rub people up the wrong way, but it's true! Having said that, I've problems with lots of music. For starters:

1. Ravel. I know the cause - several violent arguments with people after playing it or listening to it, particularly Chansons Madecasses:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD0DPxwNS7A"]Warning! This May Make You Kick the Cat![/ame]

2. Anything postmodern. By that I mean a-tonal material which I suspect may be a Sokal* hoax: music students have got hold of a chimpanzee, recorded it banging on a piano, notated the result, called the manuscript: "Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Musical Discourse" donned black polo neck sweaters, difficult glasses and shoes made from recycled copies of Jean-François Lyotard's 'La Condition Postmoderne', and have performed it to a gaggle of shaven-headed 'cultural critics' in New York's lower East Side, to scintillating reviews in the magazine 'Framing Intercontextual Narrativity within the Neopatriarchialist Musical Paradigm'.

That's the problem with postmodern, "playful", "pastiche" music which ignores the cultural traditions: it's reasonable to assume it's not art but fashion, or was written by a monkey.

* The Sokal affair (also Sokal's hoax) was a hoax by physicist Alan Sokal perpetrated on the editorial staff and readership of the postmodern cultural studies journal Social Text (published by Duke University). In 1996, Sokal, a professor of physics at New York University, submitted a paper of nonsense camouflaged in jargon for publication in Social Text, as an experiment to see if a journal in that field would, in Sokal's words: "publish an article liberally salted with nonsense if (a) it sounded good and (b) it flattered the editors' ideological preconceptions."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sokal_affair

[Stanislav]

Bruckner. Noisy, repetitious, the soul-sapping length of it. You sit there thinking “Lordy, there’s another three movements after this. Why doesn’t he shut up? Why didn’t I bring the gameboy?”

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doyvwxg8VSs"]YouTube - The Strange Affliction of Anton Bruckner[/ame]

[The Sparrow]

Originally Posted by Stanislav

....... Why didn’t I bring the gameboy?”

[Florestan]

As I mentioned before, John Tavener, Spem in Alium. I mean, wtf?
Remaining with Tavener, I don't *hate* The Protecting Veil but its formless meandering annoys the hell out of me.

High on my TURN IT OFF list would be Grieg's songs as sung by his wife Nina. OK, I realise that was allegedly how he wanted them to sound but after putting this on the CD player, there wasn't an intact piece of glass in the house and the cat had puppies on the carpet. It seems love is not only blind but deaf as well.

On a more general level, I have never been a big fan of symphonies with a lot of banging and crashing. Especially when they suddenly get REALLY LOUD. My nerves are bad enough already.

[Aiantas]

As a player I hate anything by Hubert Stuppner, as a listener I hate Light opera like Weuteuffel and Offenbach. I guess playing 'The Merry Wives Of Winsor' for a two week run was about rock bottom for me!
FC

[The Sparrow]

Originally Posted by Florestan

On a more general level, I have never been a big fan of symphonies with a lot of banging and crashing. Especially when they suddenly get REALLY LOUD. My nerves are bad enough already.

Ya probably should stay away from Giya Kancheli. Particularly his "Prayers".
I saw it live...you new a huge crash was coming cause the players in front of the horns would duck and plug their ears. (I ain't kidding!).

[Herzeleide]

Minimalism, post-minimalism.

Schoenberg opus 31, most of Vivaldi.

Hopefully Karl Jenkins will go to hell.

[fagioli]

Workplace sound regulations of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency are based on the observation that little permanent hearing loss occurs in people exposed to 85 decibels for eight hours a day - its recommended daily maximum - for 40 years. How loud is 85 decibels? A jackhammer at 15 metres produces that intensity.

What most people don't appreciate is how often classical music reaches sound levels significantly higher than 85 decibels. Perhaps the most intense, prolonged sounds occur during Wagner's 15-1/2-hour extravaganza, the Ring Cycle. When movements such as the Gotterdammerung are played, orchestra sounds of 110 decibels - roughly equal to the noise of a car horn heard at six metres - are attained. In practice, this means that some classical musicians receive 187 per cent of their recommended daily noise dose while creating a Wagnerian sound fantasy.

http://www.larrykrantz.com/hearing.htm

[Florestan]

Originally Posted by Herzeleide

most of Vivaldi.

I thought it was just me! Admittedly, when he isn't formulaic he can be wonderful. It's the same (for me) as with Mozart. Music that sounds 'typically' like Mozart or Vivaldi - that trots out all their respective cliches - leaves me cold. I mean, weren't they doing exactly what successful pop acts do - hitting on a formula that sells and then flogging it to death? It doesn't help that we have all heard so much of it over the years, being used to flog consumer goods and TV shows.